BTS RM sparks discussion with his candid views on marriage, loneliness, and social pressure on women

BTS member RM shared his thoughts on marriage and childbirth, earning widespread praise for his honesty and depth.

On October 5, RM spoke during a live broadcast on Weverse, where he expressed his view that marriage and having children are personal choices rather than obligations.

During the livestream, RM reflected, "I’m already thirty-two years old," and continued, "If I meet the right person at the right time, I might get married. Or maybe I’ll just live alone like this. I don’t think there’s a correct answer."

He elaborated, "That’s just how things are these days. People feel pressured about marriage, and there are realistic aspects to consider. Especially for women, I think society and the media keep pressuring them about having children and other issues. I just wish everyone could live according to their own pace."

RM added, "When I think about it, if you can’t endure being alone, will getting married really make things better? Because once you’re married, there may come a time when you want to be alone again. People are fickle like that. So I think someone who can be comfortable being alone can also be comfortable being with someone — and the opposite is true as well."

He continued, "If someone chooses marriage as a way to escape loneliness, I don’t think that’s the right reason. And about having children — I’m not sure about that either. Honestly, I can barely handle raising myself. Having a new life isn’t something that goes the way you want. Children have their own minds. When I think about how much trouble I gave my parents growing up — if a kid like me were born to me? Oh man... I can only imagine how frustrating that would be. Of course, they’d be lovable too, but still… there’s no right answer."

Speaking about perspectives on marriage, he shared, "Married people can only speak from their perspective, and unmarried people can only speak from theirs. It’s something we can’t fully understand about each other. What others say about their experiences should be taken as just that — other people’s experiences."

As someone born in the early 1990s, RM noted how his generation was the first in Korea to see marriage as an option rather than an expectation. "In a way, for those of us born in the 1990s, I think we’re the first generation for whom marriage has truly become an option, not an obligation. So I believe everyone should make their own choice."

RM also reflected on his upbringing, saying, "Of course, now I’m a good son — I think there’s no one as filial as me right now. But when I was young, I gave my parents a really hard time. You’d be shocked if you heard how much. Someday I’ll interview my parents so they can tell you just how much trouble I caused. That’s why I treat them well now — it’s karma, in a way."

🐨 결혼에 대해서 쫒기고 현실적인 부분도 있고 특히 여성분들은 아이나 여러가지 문제로 사회나 미디어가 계속 프레셔를 주는거 같은데 우리한테 압박을 주는거 같은데 그냥 자기 쪼대로 살았으면 좋겠어요. 정답은 없는거 같아요. 그냥 제가 생각했을 때 결국 혼자있는 시간을 이렇게 잘 못견디면… pic.twitter.com/akqyfeXBna

— 김무원 (@jooniefighting) October 5, 2025

He concluded, "I guess I went a bit deep into the topic of marriage, but it’s something worth talking about. After all, how much 'content' do we really have in life, right? Things like hobbies, travel — there’s no right answer to any of that either. But I do think it’s important to build both physical and mental nourishment. Exercise and reading are two things that can truly bring good things into a person’s life. I don’t believe anything is 'absolutely necessary' or 'always good,' but if there’s anything close to being 100% good, it would be reading books and exercising. Because those two never lie… So yeah, getting married doesn’t mean you’ll be 100% free from loneliness. Probably not!"

RM’s thoughtful remarks resonated with many fans and netizens, especially since this livestream took place during Chuseok, a traditional holiday that celebrates family gatherings but often comes with extra burdens and expectations for wives and children. Many praised RM for his empathy and his acknowledgment of societal pressures around marriage.

Reactions include:

"Our president RM just dropped some legendary quotes for the family holidays."

"I’ve never seen a male celebrity speak like this before... (in a positive way, but this is just my standard)."

"I completely agree with him. In the end, you have to be whole even when you’re alone (though no one is without flaws). Only then can you be stable with a partner or spouse."

"People don’t even understand themselves, and yet they get married and have kids in that state... of course it ends up being difficult."

"I feel the same way, so I really relate to what he said. And he expresses it so clearly and comfortably. That part about 'a person who can be well alone can also be well with someone' really hit me."

"You can tell he reads a lot and reflects deeply — I love that about him."

"I’m proud to be your fan, Namjoon."

"I relate to this so much……"

"Watching the live felt like a nonstop truth party — I agreed with everything he said."

"As expected of RM."

"I’ve liked him for a long time, but now I like him even more ㅠㅠ It’s not easy to speak this way."

"'Marriage isn’t even on my list of options, so please just let me live, seriously, adults...'"

"This is Kim Namjoon."

"What a cool person."

"Wow, his mindset is exactly like mine. Wow, these are all the things I’ve always wanted to say… Kim Namjoon ㅜㅜㅜ"

"He speaks so logically and thoughtfully. I really admire that."

"The fact that he openly acknowledged that women face social pressure — that alone is surprising (in a good way). Most Korean men I’ve seen refuse to even admit that."

"Moments like this prove that empathy really is a form of intelligence… I’ve never seen a male celebrity make statements like this before. Thank you."

"Speaking out like that publicly is genuinely admirable."

"I even liked what he said about reading and exercise — it all resonated with me."

"You can tell he’s done a lot of deep thinking. Even I’ve caught myself thinking about marriage or kids as a form of escape, but he articulated exactly why that’s not right. It made me realize something I hadn’t before haha."

"After that big controversy over his past lyrics, it seemed like he started reading books on women’s issues and even consulting professors in related fields — and it’s clear his mindset has really matured. Honestly, even if part of it were for show, just hearing a man his age talk with that level of gender awareness is almost a miracle in itself."

"RM used to be really disappointing because of his past lyric issues, but the more I see him, the more I feel he’s grown and changed for the better. He’s a great example of someone who evolves and learns."

"Every time I see RM, I feel like he’s matured and grown in the right direction. It’s great that someone like him is a top idol."

"For a man his age? Having such open-minded, flexible thinking is rare — even more so for a Korean man."

"A complete truth-fest."

"I love seeing how he keeps evolving. Stay healthy and happy for a long, long time — I mean it."

Meanwhile, RM will hold a special exhibition titled 'RM x San Francisco MoMA' at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art from October next year through February 2027.

What are your thoughts?