Netizens debate why celebrities send flirty DMs to strangers that easily end up circulating online

Netizens are discussing the logic behind celebrities sending DMs to strangers that can easily be publicized online.

On an online forum, a netizen shared a post compiling a series of DMs allegedly sent by male idols and actors that later sparked controversy due to their unsolicited approach toward non-celebrity women. Such interactions through Instagram Direct Messages leave a clear digital trail, with official account handles and profile photos visible in screenshots.

The screenshots, regardless of how they were initially shared, spread quickly across the internet and have led to figures such as Super Junior's Leeteuk, GOT7's Jay B, and actor Jung Woo Sung becoming embroiled in controversy. In many cases, the recipients were complete strangers, leading some netizens to question whether the messages reflected habitual behavior. In Jung Woo Sung's case, past DMs were also revisited following his controversy involving Moon Ga Bi and their biological child.

The netizen questioned: “These are some celebrities that come to mind...Aren’t they not scared of being exposed..?”

In the comments section, many netizens appeared largely unfazed and argued that “being a celebrity does not exempt men from pulling such acts.” Others said that seeing the messages gathered together again was “disorienting,” not because they occurred, but because the male celebrities “went relatively unscathed in their careers,” leading some to conclude that “they probably do it because the consequences aren’t that severe.”

Meanwhile, others argued that “unless the behavior is directed toward minors, celebrities should not receive additional criticism simply because they are public figures,” and that such messages are ultimately “nobody else’s business.”

Many also claimed that a number of male celebrities, including top idols and actors, allegedly send DMs to female influencers in hopes of dating them, whether casually or seriously. According to these commenters, influencers are often more likely to remain silent, meaning most of these interactions never become public. As a result, the exposed cases are viewed as relatively rare exceptions.

More reactions include:

“I know a friend who is an influencer, and she goes on dates a lot with male idols and actors. She posts photos and videos of it on a private Instagram that only friends can see, and there are both really famous and rookie celebrities. She actually dated two of them. She says she gets a lot of DMs, and recently someone even sent a car for her and they went on a date at a drama filming set.”

“As long as they’re not showing off to minors, I don’t really see the problem. Instagram is a social app like that anyway, not a closed blog. For them it’s probably like Tinder.”

“I’m getting secondhand embarrassment.”

“I know they probably all live like that, but I just hope the idols I like aren’t like that…”

“My friend’s Cyworld got noticed by a male group member who contacted her, and they went on a drive together. She even showed me photos of them getting touchy while taking pictures, cheek-to-cheek lol. It’s a very popular male group, both as a group and individually.”

“I saw the title and came to see Jung Woo Sung's ‘what a great job’ again after a long time lol.”

“Men usually don’t care about how they’re perceived, so they can just live however they want lol.”

“If that much has already been exposed, how many times have they been doing this behind the scenes…”

“I don’t really think much of it, but celebrities are people too… they’re just people with a celebrity job.”

“But it’s all male celebrities (male idols/actors), which is kind of symbolic. No matter what they do, people immediately defend them. Of course they’d feel untouchable in a world like that.”

“My friend has around 100k followers and she’s pretty. If she’s watching a drama and sees a rookie male actor she likes, she DMs him and goes on dates… she also gets DMs from celebrities too.”

“There are a lot of influencers who stay silent, so I bet there are way more cases like this. A younger acquaintance of mine who came from a dating show influencer scene said she gets tons of DMs from male celebrities. She just reads them and ignores them because she has a boyfriend and also understands fans’ feelings, but she says some celebrities kept DMing so she eventually blocked them because it was annoying…”

“Yeah, it’s kind of fascinating. If it were me, I’d never do it in case it got exposed.”

“It’s gross.”

“Such shameful behavior.”

“This is my first time seeing Jay B doing this;;"

“Do they think they’ll never get exposed?”

“Nowadays influencers date a lot of male celebrities anyway, so there’s no way all of it is just through introductions… there are definitely cases like this lol.”

“I also know someone who is a sexy dance streamer, and a male celebrity DM’d her. I was shocked when I found out lol. I think less than half of cases like this actually get exposed.”

“Wait, they just casually send their phone number like that? Wow.”

“They are way too proactive for no reason lol.”

“It’s probably not even just one person they’re doing this with.”

“Maybe they’re just so full of themselves that they think if they say ‘I’m this kind of person,’ the other person will like it.”

“They have zero caution. If it gets exposed, their image will completely collapse.”

“Do they not think this will spread, or do they just not care…?”

“How many has Leeteuk sent over the years? Only two got caught lol.”

“They probably think it won’t affect their income even if they get caught lol.”

“Usually when they do this, it’s because the other person is into them… amazing honestly.”

“Male celebrities can do this and it doesn’t affect their career at all, but imagine if a female celebrity did it—Korean forums would react way more harshly.”

“It looks so low-class, it’s surprising they do it.”

“Male power is real. Male celebrities can act like this and it doesn’t affect their jobs or income at all. But for female celebrities, even one dating rumor or scandal can end their ads and careers…”

“I mean, they can do it, but they should at least be careful. Otherwise they get exposed lol. And all their messages are like that…”

“Honestly, it’s just fascinating. Do they not think they’ll get exposed? Or do they just not care? Even if they end up dating, they’ll have to hide it anyway and meet secretly lol. Just look at Jung something from the post—pretended to be single, but had a child out of wedlock.”

“They don’t really get much damage even if they get criticized, and people just blame the women anyway, so they act confidently.”

“My Pilates instructor friend also got a DM from a really famous musical actor and actually met him out of curiosity lol. He was way more unexpected than she thought. He was in his 40s, and she was late 20s or early 30s.”

“Korean women are really kind. In other countries, if someone dates a celebrity, they’d sell stories to magazines, expose private photos, write memoirs, and profit off it. But Korean women usually keep it secret lol. In Japan too, there was someone who exposed photos and even sexual preferences of a celebrity they slept with. It seems like in Korea the male celebrities live pretty comfortably lol.”

“I know a few people who got DMs from baseball players lol.”

“Even for ordinary people, DMing strangers like that is just head-scratching behavior lol.”

“People don’t usually make it public until it becomes a problem… and honestly, this kind of thing has never really affected male celebrities’ careers anyway.”

“I wonder if they really want to use their official accounts for this lol.”

What are your thoughts?